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Rapists: Come to Canada, We Legalized It!

 

Do you like rape? If this ruling doesn’t put a big smile on your face, absolutely nothing will.

Mr. Al-Rawi, a taxi driving immigrant to Canada, has been interested in the inebriated women who ride home in his cab every night since the day he started, and he followed every bounce and jiggle in the rear-view mirror. But, when the latest lady riding in the back passed out, it meant something incredible for Mr. Al-Rawi. He finally got the chance he’d been dreaming of!

Wow! That must have been a super special moment for Mr. Al-Rawi!

The moment she passed out in his cab, Mr. Al-Rawi’s path to take her clothes off opened right up! If he had never got her DNA on his upper lip, how would Judge Gregory Lenehan have managed to figure out what all that evidence proves? Clearly an unconscious woman can consent! Though Canadian Police had already been dismissing 20% of rape charges as unfounded, this key milestone for Rapist Rights is something all rapists can be thankful for.

Some may say that Judge Gregory Lenehan is an activist judge, or that legalizing rape of unconscious woman might encourage rapists, but if the RCMP or Canadian forces are any indication, we were already halfway there anyway. Who knows? Mr. Al-Rawi could be the man we all thank in the future when President Trump comes to Canada! Grab em by the pussies!

It must feel truly orgasmic for rapists in Canada to see this huge opportunity is now sprawled out snoring on the table, theirs for the eventual taking. The fact that Canada’s ugliest, most repulsive men are now free to touch sleeping beauties and claim consent retroactively means millions of men can still envisage themselves as the one to stumble on that lady whose had just a little too much, and it doesn’t get more powerful than that!

Yup, we’re uplifted as hell right now—Mr. Al-Rawi, you’re free to go! When the police come, you can certainly count on Judge Gregory Lenehan’s support.

(THIS IS SATIRE. DO NOT RAPE. EVEN IF SHE IS PASSED OUT AND IT’S NOW LEGAL IN CANADA)

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